The Coffee Project | 2nd Avenue and 5th Street | A Rant Review

IMG_3338.JPGHello Little Blogosphere, 

It takes a lot to piss me off, especially when it comes to coffee shops.

I try to give baristas the benefit of the doubt when they’re rude and of if the coffee sucks I can make light of a good space. On its surface, The Coffee Project would seem like a perfect shop, but it is riddled with rules and shortcomings that merit a flat out terrible review.

When I walked up to the Fifth street storefront, a kind woman on the outside bench gave the coffee a rave review so I walked into the shop feeing confident in giving it at least a 7 out of 10. I asked what their specialty was– a deconstructed latte. I asked for non-dairy milk. They told me they don’t do substitutes.

Really? What about people with allergies? No. Substitutes. 

That unto itself docks two points. — For the record, if you’re a New York coffee shop that doesn’t do substitutes, I can walk less than a block to a place that does. It’s called customer service.–  I sat down at the front bar. Sipped my black coffee. At this point there were two other people in the shop. I opened my laptop to write this review, and walked up to a barista to ask for the wi-fi password.

“We do have wifi and I can give you the password but we have a strict no laptop policy on the weekends.”

I told her not to bother giving it to me. Excuse me, are you kidding? There was no one in there and it was 8:45 in the morning. That’s absurd. Minus 5. And that deduction is based on the fact that she said sorry, but smiled the whole time.

If you’re going to be a bitch, be a bitch.

I’m sorry I wasted my money. To read a good review, click here.


Overall: 3/10

Power Outlets: Few.

Wi-Fi: Yes.

Password: Get it yourself.

Noise Level: Medium.

Coffee: Soured by poor service, but generally good.IMG_3331.JPG

Bathrooms: Yes.

Seating: Enough.

Hours: 8:30 am – 6:00 pm

Patrons: Masochists.



Screen Shot 2017-08-12 at 9.25.46 AM
Screengrab from Google maps.

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